Triggered Clarity

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Someone said something at me. Not to me, not directly; but it was obvious it was intended for my ears.

It made me angry. It made me mistrust her. It even made me think I hate her and never want her in my presence again. A virtual stranger says a few words I take personally as a judgement of me, and it sets me into a complete tizzy. Which makes me call her names in my journal, and changes a big decision on a direction I was heading, turning me 180 degrees around.

At first, it seems like I’m giving away my power to this person.

I work through the emotions. They are all over the place.

But the more I write them down, I pare away at the truth.

I realize that this is happening, because a choice I made to go down a certain road, no longer feels like it’s in my best interest.

In my mind, it seemed like a good idea, and for months I’ve been planning for this. But right here and now, it feels all wrong, and this woman showed up to scream it in my face. Indirectly, so I’d take issue, and uncover the real, less magnificent (but ultimately more important) choice for the next step in my life.

Sometimes, clarity is triggered in an unpleasant way. The important thing is listening and being willing to change plans according to what feels right and empowering.

Triggered Clarity © January 1, 2018 | Annie Zalezsak


Love Our Mother Earth


Our Mother Earth cradles us,
upholds life,
provides our every need.
Her boundless love
contains us,
sustains us,
despite our growing greed.

Like rebellious children
her boundaries we test;
yet by her unconditional love
and providence, we are blessed.

Please stop poking and prodding her.
Give back her dignity.
Surrender to HER rights.
Let her rest.
Let her heal.
Let her BE.

Love Our Mother Earth © November 26, 2016 | Annie Zalezsak
(Inspired by the Pray for Standing Rock worldwide synchronized events, specifically the meditation held at the Pandosy Peace Centre in Kelowna.)

Beliefs and Behaviour

Sometimes, I don’t know what I believe until I have to voice it.

But louder than my voice, are my actions. Before I am even consciously aware of what I believe deep down, the obvious is stated in my day-to-day behaviours. Observers may see more clearly, what I barely acknowledge in myself.

Beliefs are often unconscious. I’m especially disconnected from beliefs underlying my worst habits. I succumb to unpredictable behaviours that contradict my conscious intentions.

Identifying and changing my core beliefs (in order to change my outcomes) seems like a lot of hard, deep-digging work.

So, for now, if I catch myself sabotaging:

  • I accept it, forgive myself, and move on;
  • I’m honest with myself about the benefits I got from this; and
  • I reflect on what I can do better next time.

Beliefs shift slowly. Human behaviour takes time to evolve.


Beliefs and Behaviour © November 18, 2015 | Annie Zalezsak


Photo Credit: Scott Collis | Dreamstime

I read somewhere that if bees become extinct, the world as we know it would die inside four years. I don’t know much about bees, except that they fly from flower to flower, carrying pollen and propagation far and wide. Their efforts and behaviour are integral to the survival of all things.

Is it just the bees? Or does the loss of anything or anyone, change the world completely?

I notice that in any situation, the presence or absence of any individual or object changes the whole experience of an environment. It’s neither good nor bad; it’s just different.

I like bees as much as the next guy. Would their absence truly devastate the planet? Or would everyone and everything evolve and adapt?

We always do. Life always finds a way to go on. Forever changed, perhaps.

Life prevails.

© June 3, 2013 | Annie Zalezsak

Kelowna and Beyond

Photo by Annie Zalezsak

It just so happens…

It just so happens that I live in Kelowna. Was it pre-destined? Was it planned? Not quite. After years of living abroad, it was as likely a place as any other to land. So far, so good. The number of times I’ve heard locals call Kelowna “paradise” makes me feel pretty certain I’m in the right place. I think I’ll stay – at least until some other location calls my name.

One thing for sure…

One thing for sure is that I am a nomad at heart. Some may call it lack of commitment, or unwillingness to set down roots. It took me a long time to realize that I did not have to stay anywhere that no longer felt ‘right’. There comes a moment when all energy shifts and I simply have to move on to another place. It’s not running away. It’s not even seeking new adventure. It’s simply flowing with the energy that directs me. It’s like the wind blowing a leaf in some random and playful way. My purpose is simply to let it carry me and trust wherever it may land.

River Rapids Carry Me

Something very strange is a-brewing. This is my third day of feeling it. It’s like, on a very deep level, there is a whole lot of unseen stuff going on with me. It feels like I have left the shore; a river shore where (for years) I have been clinging to the crumbling roots of some tree. Now, the root has crumbled between my fingers. The rush of the river rapids has a power that I can no longer resist. I have to go with it. Kicking and screaming does not make an iota of difference. The force will take me to my destiny, whether I like it or not. So I choose to make my body go limp, and allow it to be thrashed forward. My mind, body and spirit feel like they are going through this kind of a journey. Where I will wind up, only time will tell.

Photo credit: Ron Hilton,

Lucky Escape

Photo credit: Kushnirov Avraham, Dreamstime.comIn my previous post, I wrote about a job that arrived at virtually the same time that I was given the opportunity of free office space to test trial some new business ideas.

The old, fearful me, took the job with optimism, knowing that “in this economic climate” (yada, yada) I ought to have a secure stream of income. I shoved doubts to the back of my mind. I looked for only the bright side, and reminded myself constantly to focus on the essential money I’d be earning.

On my fourth day, after receiving a blatantly revealing (negative) email from my predecessor (about how the employer had not paid him for two months), I had severe doubts about the employer. It occurred to me that they may not pay me either. Since I did not have a contract, no letter of employment, not even a time sheet as evidence, I began to worry that this company was dodgy. It also began playing on my mind that I’d noticed the office girl bending the truth to people over the phone.

On my fifth day, I walk in, and sure enough, I’m told, “It’s not working out”.

The universe had presented me with two options: the old path of taking a job (that probably wasn’t really right for me), and support in starting a new venture (with the risk of the ‘unknown’ and all possibilities at my feet). I took the easy path as my priority.

Today, the universe just slapped me in the face and said: “Wrong choice. But we’re giving you another chance.” This time, I have to make it work. I have this office space. I have support. I have to do this.

I guess it really does matter that you do what’s really right for you. Because if it isn’t right for you, it isn’t right for them, either.

In mild desperation, I pulled one of Cheryl Richardson‘s grace cards. I got Patience: “Trust in Divine timing. Your future holds something far greater than your past.”

I’m considering this “job loss” a lucky escape. Watch now, as I leap into the unknown Abyss!